Fantonim.com

Just as I was reading http://www.27bslash6.com/ (thanks to Hesi) and was cracking up, I wished that I had the guts and the opportunity to imitate the author and write an outrageously absurd and bizarre letter to some department or organization that takes itself too seriously. Unfortunately, the only letters on my TODO list are to the Canada Revenue Agency (Canada) and the Department of Justice (Ireland). You just don’t $%&# with these guys. I was all sad at a perfect opportunity wasted up until now. Let me tell you all about it:

Ireland has this stupid system where you have to have a TV license to watch TV. Yeah, dumb ass idea. It’s like air tax! This license is €160 for 2009 and the local Post Office administers it and the postmen have, apparently, the right to enter and inspect your premises for the presence of a TV. We don’t have a TV, well, actually we do, but we use it as a stool. Cable TV is overrated, I’m all about streaming.

Looks like the previous tenant used to have this license, but forgot to notify the Post Office about her moving out. So we, or rather she, have been receiving threatening letters from the Post Office about neglecting to renew the license. Get this:

According to out Television License Computer Database your TV license expired on 31/01/2009 has not been renewed despite sending you several reminders. I wish to advise you that the TV License Inspectors in your area have been given your details and instructed to visit you immediately.

Under the current Broadcasting and Wireless Telegraphy legislation it is a prosecutable offence to be found in possession of an unlicensed television set. This offence is punishable by a fine, up to a maximum of 634.87 for a first offence. By law it is the occupier who has possession and use of the TV set who is responsible for ensuring that it is licensed. This person may or may not be the owner of the set. Should you be in contravention of the law when the TV License Inspector call you you will be prosecuted and summoned to appear in the District Court on a charge of possession of an unlicensed television set.

This letter is issued without prejudice to any existing legal action that An Post may have initiated against you.

Well, let me get my creative hat on and write a threatening letter right back at them. If you don’t hear from me in a while that means I am in jail. Otherwise I will keep you abreast with my progress, hehe!